The Grief Mask

You know the one I mean. The one that you put on each time you leave the house, so that others feel less awkward and to help you try to find some sort of normality.

It might not feel like it right now, but you won’t have to wear that grief mask forever.

Believe it or not, it actually has a purpose. It’s there whilst you act out your old life in the hope the old you will come back.

It’s utterly exhausting to wear, but it’s the only thing you know how to do right now to get through each day.

It feels so heavy to wear because some pieces of the old you simply don’t fit anymore.

After some time, you might feel like this is just your life now and that you will always have to wear this mask. That your interactions will always feel inauthentic and forced.

As hard and exhausting as this is, be gentle with yourself because right now, you are finding the place in your heart to hold on to and manage your grief (love) and the new pieces of yourself that will eventually fit just right.

One day (and the time is different for everyone) you might realise that your laugh and smile that day were genuine.

You’ll perhaps start something new that brings you comfort and you’ll embed it into your life.

Different things will take on new meaning for you and you’ll make choices to reflect this.

You’ll shake something from your old life off that doesn’t feel quite right anymore.

Each time, a piece of your grief mask will slip off a little. You’ll frantically fix it back in place through guilt or fear to start with when you realise.

But eventually, piece by piece, tiny bit by tiny bit, the grief mask will slip away.

You might not even notice it to begin with, as it will be the tiniest part. 

But through perseverance, kindness, acceptance and giving yourself permission to look forward to life again, you’ll one day realise it’s simply not there anymore and your interactions will once again feel authentic to you.

You might still have pieces of it you keep in your pocket for certain situations, but you’ll feel more in control of where you put it on and for the most part, it’s gone.

Please don’t give up hope if your grief mask feels too heavy right now ❤️